While I was at the youth camp at Bowling Green, Ohio, this past week, on the free afternoon as groups went about enjoying a relaxed afternoon, a terrible tragedy happened where one of the teenagers, the son of the accompanying youth pastor, very sadly drowned in the nearby lake.
The news occurred just a few minutes before the evening programme was about to start. How should you react? How will this affect the programme? How do we as a body of Christ respond to such a tragedy while not wanting to spoil the whole event for the young participants?
I had always said to my event teams, this would be the worst-case scenario anyone could have ever imagined and I thank God that I was spared for having to deal with such a tragic incident as death during any of our events.
Quick decisions needed to be made and as Jasper Rutherford and the morning Bible teacher took the stage, God was present and the leadership led one of the best crisis management moments I have ever experienced.
They took the edge of the stage and sat down, addressing the room, explaining what has happened and letting the room sit in this pain of loss and grief. Sharing from their hearts, shedding tears, reading Scriptures, inviting to sit in this pain as the body of Christ. No perfect words, no dramatic play, just sitting in this space and holding it.
After a time of praying, sharing from the stage, the 2000 teenagers were invited to pray in small huddles. Facing a lack of words but offering this heart-breaking situation up to God asking for comfort for the family, youth group and church, identifying with the pain while also addressing that this pain might remind some of their own painful stories and together laying it down at the feet of Jesus.
Many tears were shed this night, including myself. Hardly any of us had met this young man, but it was identifying with this loss and dealing with some own reminders of pain.
The worship band spontaneously changed their whole approach for that night and sang softly words of truth over the room. No big instruments, just standing together as a team and remind the crowd of God´s presence also in the in between.
The preacher for the night had to face a confused room full of teenagers and was not only able to draw them in, but to point them to Jesus and invite them to follow him whatever the costs might be. Yes, at the brink of tears sometime and while reading the room and audibly hearing people cry, preaching a message of being called into God´s presence and service.
In the midst of such sadness, God used Jasper and the team as well as pastor Matt Reagan to help all focus on what matters. In the sadness also making the room laugh. Of helping to grasp that the in between space is uncomfortable, hard and sometimes very painful.
The decision was taken, that the after show Christmas themed party will be offered as an opportunity to also hold the tension between death and life. And for some it was exactly what they needed.
I was moved to hear that the youth pastor having to deal with his own loss of his son, went to be with his youth group and assume his role as their pastor helping them all to grieve together.
I have learned so much that evening:
- Adapt quickly to new circumstances and be heads on
- Address the issue and name the tension, feelings, loss of words, etc.
- Help the process of grieving in providing some possible steps
- Provide means and space to mourn
- Refocus a room on Jesus
- Sit in the tension between life and death
- Give time to simply be
- Encourage leaders to step in
- Invite God´s spirit to guide, comfort and love
- Mourn with the ones who mourn
Have you ever had to face such a difficult situation and if so, what did you do? What helped in such circumstances?