In November 2020, a Christian publisher asked me if I do not want to write a book. Well, it was more like, you should write a book. “It is time to jump again from the 3m diving board, Evi!” was the challenge given. Really?

Since 2017, I was seriously thinking about it when another writer friend asked me if I would not like to write a book. Everything inside me screamed, “Yes, of course!” However, I was not sure if the time was ripe and I mature enough to write about things, which really matter, to me. The only topic I really care about is leadership. Leadership and pain. How to deal with pain effectively and not be broken by ministry. But I also have an agreement with God that I won´t push myself into things because I desire them or because people should. Over the past few years, I had started to collect material on this topic but also told God, he would need to take action here. I would not simply suggest myself.

When the publisher asked me in November 2020, I felt the time was right to at least try it. I submitted an exposition and a draft chapter over Christmas. In January, I received the green light to go ahead, signed the contract and started to seriously write. O my, I was so super excited!

July is the deadline for the book as the goal is to get it published for the Willow leadership congress in Germany next February 2022. Quite a steep learning curve in a short period. No time to see how others have done it or take any creative writing courses. Every time I write, I feel so dependent on God and his leading. Some chapters come easily as I have already taught on it. Some I develop as I write.

I am totally excited and totally scared. There are smooth days of writing where I feel in the flow, there are days I doubt everything and anything. Wondering if anyone would ever read this. In addition, because this is also personal, asking how to make myself vulnerable in a good sense. This is not to bash anyone but as I share some of my painful stories, hoping this will provide hope to others as well as helping to regain a new perspective. 

On this journey, I have some wonderful people who have shared their wisdom with me in providing their stories. This will be a huge plus for this book. I am personally moved and touched by their ways of dealing with pain. This will make this book very precious.

I am also very grateful for my dad, my sister Kirsy and a couple of friends who are willing to read, proofread and provide feedback. This is hugely appreciated as this serves as a great encouragement and support. In addition the wonderful social community who suggests books, ideas and cheering.

Onto the last few weeks!